[sic] Magazine

Rip It Up And Start Again

First of all let’s hand our warm congratulations to Duffy on her Brit Awards success. Although, if I was going to write an album I wouldn’t have called it “Rock Ferry”. I’d have probably gone for “Lower Heswall”. It’s not so much the Brit Awards that have been making the news this week as British Serial Killers. Due to it’s relatively small land mass, it’s said that in Britain you are never more than ten feet away from a serial killer. Or is it a rat? It’s one or the other and I can’t be bothered to check. Serial killers are often deeply unpopular with the general public due, in part, to the fact that they kill people. Nowadays, in Britain at least, SK’s are locked away behind bars to prevent them from attacking the people. Only very occasionally are they allowed out to make film appearances, like in that one starring the sheep and Jodie Foster.

iCkRCX3eM:http://www.bbc.co.uk/cymru/radiocymru/safle/cofio/images/slideshow/1980 grange-hill.jpg”/>Well, like I say, it’s just a theory. All I’m saying is that in the little footage there is of Shipman, (see YouTube Clip) he looks suspiciously like the actor who played Mr Baxter from kids TV series Grange Hill, assuming that in the intervening period he’s lost twenty kilos, shrunk by about two feet, suffered from a near-fatal eye disease and had a full head transplant. Still – the mind boggles.

screw -, defn, common UK parlance for a prison guard
slopping out – the practice where inmates defecate into buckets and dispose of the contents carefully